Lately, the rainy days have kept me thinking a lot. I think I am growing inside of me. In a good way though. I came across this quote while surfing the net.
"Strange thing about the rain... It reveals all of the leaks." -Mary Allen Smith
Rain is normally related to trouble and sadness. It has been always, when it rains "when the problem surfaces" only then we realise that we need to fix it. Act on it sternly.
Anyway, the reason I am writing this post is just to express the feelings deep down in me. To be frank, I have disappeared from cyberspace for awhile because I was planning to keep my focus just on my exams. However, I let something get into my way. Relationship stuffs. Yada.. yada.. yada.. I have wasted 2 days of my life not functioning. Hibernating. I told myself to stay strong but emotions got into my head. Anyway, I am much better now. What I have learnt? I have learnt that not all humans appreciate the chances you gave them. Not all humans change. Some never do. Some humans lie, straight to your face even though you have solid evidence to prove the person's mistake. I guess some people have NO BALLS to own up to their mistakes.
Now, I also realised that, all this while, I have been believing in others more than myself. From now onwards, I am going to believe in me. I now learn that our instinct is like our GPS, normally and usually points us to the right direction. So yea. I am going to PUT myself first. Call me selfish. Whatever. I know that inside of everyone, there must be a small portion of selfishness in them. Tell me if you have only RM10 with you. You are super damn poor yourself and a friend comes to you and asking you to lend him/her RM10 because he/she is also as poor and that he/she has not been eating for so-and-so days. What will you do? Hmm.. My decision depends on the friend himself/herself. If he/she is a true friend of mine, I may have sacrificed a little. Maybe share with him/her my RM10. But then if the friends are not worthy. I have learnt to say NO now.
And I will try not to be too naive. Ya. Huhlo. I am like turning 21 already. Really depress when I only find out I am still immature in handling things. Well, at least the few wrong turns have brought me here to realise the truth. Hopefully all is well now.
Love, zoey